A Fall Visit from NaeNah and Mimi

It was a beautiful Fall weekend - Kentucky introduction to cooler air, red and yellow leaves and a just a hint of end of the year excitement in the air. The windows are open, the breezes cool and airy…the perfect time to spend some time with Aunt NaeNah, Mimi and spiced tea. 

Shana and Mimi arrived Friday afternoon, just in time to get some sewing projects started with Lyla. She worked on this owl all afternoon, and I can’t believe how well she’s taken to sewing. She loves every minute of it, and she’s so proud of the work she has done so far. 

Cade was excited to receive a big box of moon sand from Aunt NaeNah and has been playing in it all weekend - he particularly loves running his trucks through big mountains. Mimi said it kept him occupied for a full hour on Saturday afternoon while we were out with Lyla. 

Lyla is playing soccer this Fall, and she had team pictures this weekend. It was great to have NaeNah and Mimi there to cheer her on…especially since she’s not the happiest about playing this Season anymore. Only 3 more games after this one….

Here is the team with Parker, our neighbor:

Cade E. Bugg perfected the Aimee Jane facial expression this weekend - it definitely lives on: 

The Tigers lost today, but it didn’t matter because it was so good to have NaeNah and Mimi at the game. 

After, Lyla was thrilled to go to the fabric store with Mommy and Aunt NaeNah for some “girl time”. She picked out a birthday party dress that Aunt NaeNah is going to sew for her in time for her November birthday. We are so excited about it!

Lyla insisted that Aunt NaeNah sit in the back seat with her en route to help her with her owl project: 

Of course, Lyla chose purple fabric for her dress…perfection. We can’t wait to see the finished product!

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Uhhh, Cade is pretty excited about it too...

Great weekend with great family. So glad they were here and so sad to see them leave this afternoon. 

Adventures in Sticking It Out

So, Lyla told me several weeks ago that she wanted to play soccer again. 

I guess I wasn’t totally surprised - our neighborhood is full of kids (mainly boys) playing soccer - Eli down the street has a soccer goal so big it looks like it belongs on a professional field.

But, I was worried. 

Me: Are you sure you want to do this?

Lyla: Yes, Mommy.

Me (recalling last year’s disastrous Fall Season in which Lyla openly dreaded each and every game, wandered aimlessly around the field throughout each game and refused to practice at home): Are you sure you want to do this, because last year...

Lyla: Yes, Mommy. I really want to play.

Me: Ok, but you realize if you decide you don’t like it mid-Season, you have to stick it out, you have to finish because you’re making a commitment to your team mates.

Lyla: Yes, Mommy, I really want to play. 

So….I got on the computer and (reluctantly) registered our girl for the Fall Season. 

We are now 2 games into a 5 game season, and our girl officially hates playing. Again.

She barely uttered a word on Saturday prior to her game. She was withdrawn, miserable and quiet.

And….I was forced to consider - is it really worth it? Do I really have to stick to my guns here? Does she really have to stick it out? Will she even remember this several years from now?

Who is this harder on, anyway? Me or her?

Me. Definitely me.

She dutifully attended. She followed me to team pictures this morning. She did what she had to do. She sat there and took pictures. Dutifully. Nothing more. 

And, she’s miserable on the field. She managed to follow the ball a few more times today than last week. But she’s not happy, and she’s not having a good time. 

So, do I really have to make her stick it out? Do we really have to go again next week? And the week after? It just makes me feel so sad to see her so miserable. 

And, then I think about the people I know who quit easily - friends who have intellect but no confidence, no motivation. That started somewhere, and maybe it was right here…at age 4, when it was easier for Mommy to avoid feelings of sadness that inevitably accompany watching your child struggle. 

I am reminded that parenting is hard, and that parenting should be hard…if the decision is easy, it probably isn’t the right decision. 

I want Lyla to develop a sense of commitment, a sense of dutiful obligation to complete a task.

And, as hard as it is, it begins now. To allow her to walk in the other direction would teach her that you can walk away any time that things get hard. 

So, when Lyla tells me next week that she wants to stay at home and not go to her game, I have to remember that the commitment she’s developing in Little League Soccer is what is cultivating a “success gene” in her for later. 

Even when it’s hard for us both…because there’s nothing worse than seeing this sweet ray of sunlight miserable. 

It sure would be easier to stay at home and play dolls.

And that’s exactly why we have to head to the soccer fields. 

Only 3 more games...

And Then It's the Second Day....

I love Mommy moments that take my breath away…moments that I know will be etched in my brain when I am old in a "rest home" somewhere learning to play bridge.

Lyla bounded out of the car as usual on this second day of school - she never even looked back when Ms. Marian showed up to whisk her away. 

Cade and I drove to the library to drop off some books in the 30 minutes preceding his first car line experience with his teacher, Ms. Jennifer. He chatted happily about school and books, Lyla and his friend Eli. And, then, it was his turn. We were back in car line, this time it was his car line, behind one of his classmates. It began to register with him that he would be getting out of the car just like his sister, and Mommy would be driving away.

I took a deep breath and willed my own tears away as I looked into his (suddenly) fearful eyes. I sang to him and reminded him that Mommy comes back…always, always, always…Mommy comes back. 

And, then, Ms. Jennifer was at the door. 

She opened it with the chirp of the happiest bird on the planet - “Hi Cade! You’re such a big boy! I’m so excited about our day! I know you can get down on your own, so I’m just going to unbuckle you and let you do it yourself…"

I held my breath. And, then came the Mommy moment:

Just like that, he climbed out of his seat, out of the car, waved a quick goodbye to me and was off to school.

He stood in front of the door, clutching his little red fox backpack, looked up at Ms. Jennifer and smiled his most crinkly-nosed smile.

And all was right with the world. 

I was met with an overwhelming sense of pride and happiness coupled with gut wrenching sadness that my beloved baby boy is officially off to adventures without Mommy by his side.

So, I cried a few tears and then basked in the warmth of sweet success. 

We did it. We all did it today. 

And, that is how I’m going to remember today. Forever and ever and ever. 

 

Myrtle Beach in Retrospect

Here are a few photos from our camera from our trip. This photo was taken while we were stopped in traffic for 2 hours en route. Cade was fascinated by the “big rig” parked next to us - here is where he met “Steve”, the UPS driver.  

Lyla had no desire to leave Fancy Nancy to get out of the car to explore the parked cars, and she wanted me to get back in the car to read to her: 

We took this photo not long after we arrived as we think Cade is starting to look funny in a diaper - he is absolutely not interested in potty training. He says he is “too little” to wear underwear and refuses to even sit on the potty. 

Our first evening in the ocean - Cade loved the feeling of the sand beneath his feet and was completely uninhibited by the water. 

Lyla is fascinated by the ocean for probably the first time - she’s usually completely disinterested. This year, she wants to meet a mermaid and is pointing out to me where they may live beneath the water: 

Cade’s run really is hilarious these days - I need to include video that Daddy is taking in the background: 

Digging in the sand in the evenings is a favorite past time on vacation: 

Lyla was insistent that this lime was a “clue” to buried treasure: 

Fervently digging - she ultimately found a shell under the sand: 

Daddy body surfing: 

Mermaid Lyla: 

These photos were taken at the Sea Captain’s House, a restaurant we visited on our first trip to Myrtle Beach, when Lyla was only 8 months old. It is a special place for us because in the restaurant’s beautiful backyard, which is situated on the ocean, Lyla decided she wanted to walk. It was there that she began reaching both hands up in the air, requesting us to “walk” her around the yard. We were glad to come back to this place now that she’s all grown up and take updated family photos with Cade. They both loved this special place: 

Our last night on the Beach consisted of a walk down through the sand…more for Lyla than Cade. She wanted to spend time looking for shells. 

And, Cade wanted to revisit the Pirate Ship Playground, behind our condo building.

They both got their last night of vacation wish. 

Special night to end a fantastic vacation. 

Sweet Girl

I wanted to post these photos Lance took with our camera on the first day of school - I think he captured so much of my ambivalence, and more importantly, he caught our sweet, sensitive girl in the act of comforting Mommy.

She can be impatient, demanding and, well, just 4. But, anyone who knows Lyla also knows that there’s just something about her that you can’t quite pinpoint, something that is special and so unique. It’s a sensitive effervescence that I love so much that sometimes I think my heart just might break. 

I know her so well that I can often guess exactly what she’s going to say or what she’s going to feel before it even happens. I attribute that, of course, to the fact that I’ve been with her 95 percent of every single day of her short life. The knowledge we have of each other is reciprocal, though. She can read me almost like a book, and I love how sensitive she was to my ambivalence on the first day of school. 

These photos really need no words. They’re beautiful and amazing just as they are: 

I am so blessed to be her Mommy. 

Our amazing little girl is just that - amazing. 

She is more than worth every single day that I waited for her.