Adventures in Sticking It Out

So, Lyla told me several weeks ago that she wanted to play soccer again. 

I guess I wasn’t totally surprised - our neighborhood is full of kids (mainly boys) playing soccer - Eli down the street has a soccer goal so big it looks like it belongs on a professional field.

But, I was worried. 

Me: Are you sure you want to do this?

Lyla: Yes, Mommy.

Me (recalling last year’s disastrous Fall Season in which Lyla openly dreaded each and every game, wandered aimlessly around the field throughout each game and refused to practice at home): Are you sure you want to do this, because last year...

Lyla: Yes, Mommy. I really want to play.

Me: Ok, but you realize if you decide you don’t like it mid-Season, you have to stick it out, you have to finish because you’re making a commitment to your team mates.

Lyla: Yes, Mommy, I really want to play. 

So….I got on the computer and (reluctantly) registered our girl for the Fall Season. 

We are now 2 games into a 5 game season, and our girl officially hates playing. Again.

She barely uttered a word on Saturday prior to her game. She was withdrawn, miserable and quiet.

And….I was forced to consider - is it really worth it? Do I really have to stick to my guns here? Does she really have to stick it out? Will she even remember this several years from now?

Who is this harder on, anyway? Me or her?

Me. Definitely me.

She dutifully attended. She followed me to team pictures this morning. She did what she had to do. She sat there and took pictures. Dutifully. Nothing more. 

And, she’s miserable on the field. She managed to follow the ball a few more times today than last week. But she’s not happy, and she’s not having a good time. 

So, do I really have to make her stick it out? Do we really have to go again next week? And the week after? It just makes me feel so sad to see her so miserable. 

And, then I think about the people I know who quit easily - friends who have intellect but no confidence, no motivation. That started somewhere, and maybe it was right here…at age 4, when it was easier for Mommy to avoid feelings of sadness that inevitably accompany watching your child struggle. 

I am reminded that parenting is hard, and that parenting should be hard…if the decision is easy, it probably isn’t the right decision. 

I want Lyla to develop a sense of commitment, a sense of dutiful obligation to complete a task.

And, as hard as it is, it begins now. To allow her to walk in the other direction would teach her that you can walk away any time that things get hard. 

So, when Lyla tells me next week that she wants to stay at home and not go to her game, I have to remember that the commitment she’s developing in Little League Soccer is what is cultivating a “success gene” in her for later. 

Even when it’s hard for us both…because there’s nothing worse than seeing this sweet ray of sunlight miserable. 

It sure would be easier to stay at home and play dolls.

And that’s exactly why we have to head to the soccer fields. 

Only 3 more games...

Sweet Girl

I wanted to post these photos Lance took with our camera on the first day of school - I think he captured so much of my ambivalence, and more importantly, he caught our sweet, sensitive girl in the act of comforting Mommy.

She can be impatient, demanding and, well, just 4. But, anyone who knows Lyla also knows that there’s just something about her that you can’t quite pinpoint, something that is special and so unique. It’s a sensitive effervescence that I love so much that sometimes I think my heart just might break. 

I know her so well that I can often guess exactly what she’s going to say or what she’s going to feel before it even happens. I attribute that, of course, to the fact that I’ve been with her 95 percent of every single day of her short life. The knowledge we have of each other is reciprocal, though. She can read me almost like a book, and I love how sensitive she was to my ambivalence on the first day of school. 

These photos really need no words. They’re beautiful and amazing just as they are: 

I am so blessed to be her Mommy. 

Our amazing little girl is just that - amazing. 

She is more than worth every single day that I waited for her. 

Our Fairy Garden

Today, we worked on a Fairy Garden. We went to Home Depot and purchased several succulents and ivy…and Lyla and Cade insisted that they also needed to include a cactus each. Lyla said that she wanted to make the garden ready for any desert fairies that might appear. 

She was very serious about her work and wants everything to be just so so:

The finished product - Cade’s green cactus is on the left, and Lyla’s purple is on the right. She says that the ivy will provide a wall for the fairies to fly into the pot as they might needs some shelter from the rain. 

Cade, on the other hand, was not so committed to a perfect Fairy Garden, much to Lyla’s consternation. He prefers to throw the shells and rocks as opposed to creating a staircase for the fairies, like his sister wants. He finally opted to go his own way:

In other news around here, we are frantically trying to help Lyla mend her injured toe in time for our trip to Myrtle Beach. She spends quiet time with her toe “exposed” trying to give it some air with no bandage. We’re hopeful that it will be mended by the time we leave so swimming time won’t be affected. What a week it’s been around here! We’ve dealt Daddy’s tailbone and Lyla’s toe, and….Mommy had to have a tooth extracted earlier this week!

Here’s to hoping things calm down in time for vacation! PLEASE!!!

Girl Lessons

This morning, overheard in the Hottman house, Lyla and Cade were upstairs, working on “Girl Lessons”. Lyla told him she was going to teach him to be a girl and how to listen through her “Girl Lessons”. Step one: Put him in one of her dresses. This is one of their favorite things to do together - they think it’s so funny. And it really is. 

Here, she brought him downstairs in his dress and decided to put him in some of her pink shiny shoes. Overheard: Lyla - “Cade, I can’t believe I’m putting your stinky feet in my favorite shiny, pink shoes."

Those shoes apparently didn’t fit, so they decided on another pair of pink mary jane’s instead. 

Here’s my favorite - Cade decided to pick up his toy chain saw and saw Lyla in half. I explained to her that sometimes you just can’t take the boy out of a little boy. Her response, “Well, I’m just going to have to keep trying, Mommy."

Hilarious days, these are.

Backpacks!

It is with bittersweetness that the kids got their new backpacks today for the upcoming school year. Lyla will be attending 4 day 4’s at Pewee Valley, and our sweet baby boy will start preschool. 

I can hardly believe he’s big enough for his Fox backpack in honor of Freddy Fox (Peppa Pig). Lyla is crazed about Sophia these days, and was thrilled about her new backpack. 

It won’t be long now until fall is upon us...

A Visit to Lexington

Again, I wish I’d taken more pictures today - but sometimes when you’re having a really good time, you just don’t. I’m so glad we were able to squeeze in a visit to Lexington before Lyla and Cade start school at the end of the month. We spent the afternoon at Aunt Sue’s visiting with Mimi, Nana, Aunt Sue, Sue Beth and even Uncle Tommy. It was a joyous, relaxing afternoon. 

Lyla & Cade really love Nana - they talk about her all the time, and Lyla has declared that Nana is her favorite grandmother. They were instantly thrilled to see her, and they both insisted on bringing suitcases full of toys to show her. 

Aunt Sue had a beautiful lunch for us, and the table was set when we arrived. When Cade saw it, he said, “Look, Mommy, they were eating dinner.” 

Here, Lyla and Cade snuggled up with Nana to watch some videos Aunt Sue wanted to show them on the computer. I had to pull Cade off Nana because I was afraid all their weight might hurt her. 

We were able to show Nana several things on our phones to help her catch up on the family. We showed her Reace, David’s new girlfriend and Sue Beth showed her newer pictures of Jack & Owen. It’s so nice to be able to share these things with her so easily now: 

The kids played and played outside. Aunt Sue had bikes set up for them and water balloons. They both had a wonderful time wandering around looking at her water fountain, her flamingos and hiding water balloons from each other. It was really neat that they were both able to ride the tricycle that we all rode as kids - I can’t believe it’s still there. Again, really wish I’d taken a pic of that!

They were both so worn out from playing and were thrilled for some inside time and a couple of shows. After that they dragged out more antiquated toys that Aunt Sue keeps in her closet - Lyla was so excited about the toy record player that plays Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star and insisted that she needs one before we take our Myrtle Beach vacation at the end of the month. 

I love visiting Aunt Sue’s because it’s one of those places that is so warm and full of really good childhood memories. I love this living room and can vividly remember watching television there myself not so long ago. 

A great day that I’m glad we had. It was worth the ridiculous temper tantrum Cade threw at bedtime when he refused to go to bed after taking a late nap in the car on the way home. It’s always so nice to see Nana - no one I’ve ever known ages so gracefully. 

 

Summer Ice Cream Cones

Tonight, the kiddos enjoyed a little ice cream cone walk around the neighborhood after dinner. It is one of those evenings when the temperature is just summery - a little humid after today’s summer rain, but the anticipation of fall feels like it’s just on the horizon. I think it’s the neighborhood chatter about school starting, a few yellow leaves on the lawn and the way the petunias are starting to look fatigued. 

There’s just nothing quite like an ice cream cone on a night like tonight. 

Lyla loved her chocolate chip ice cream cone. 

Cade loved his too, although he sacrificed his to the ants ultimately saying his belly was just too full to finish it. 

Today was a slow day, a not-so-productive summer day with Daddy at home after working 4 nights straight. Daddy’s work schedule is grueling right now with our family vacation coming up at the end of the August. It was a really hectic weekend with 4 birthday parties - 3 of which we were able to attend - everyone was exhausted by number 4 - even Cade was declining cupcakes by the last party. 

A few highlights from the last few days: 

-Cade is super connected to all things Daddy. He loves the fire pit and worries when it is clogged by the rains, and he thinks he can cook on Daddy’s green egg by himself. Today, he had a massive breakdown because Daddy went running “in the road” and he was worried about him getting hurt. 

-Another classic Cade breakdown in recent days - when his “boo-boo” disappeared after taking a bath. HIs new scab was less visible after getting out of the bath tub and he sat on the floor crying because he thought it was gone. 

-Lyla announced at dinner tonight that she is still searching for the man she is going to marry. She is also voicing her concern that she can’t decide if she wants to be a princess when she grows up or a “saloner” (a hair stylist). I’m hoping for the latter. 

-Overheard today in the basement - Lance was gazing at Cade sitting in a chair and asked inquisitively: “Did your Aunt Baby sneak an egg into the batch or what?”…Cade looks so much like Tevan sometimes that it’s frightening. 

They say the funniest things these days - I wish I could write them all down. 

The end of summer is a little sad in some ways, but there’s just something kind of exciting about “what comes next” (some of Cade’s favorite words these days). 

Happy Birthday Emma & Parker

We had a fantastic time tonight celebrating Emma & Parker’s birthdays, just down the street. Lance & I feel so blessed to have such a wonderful neighborhood for Lyla & Cade. They have so much fun with all the kids here - and there are so many so close in age. 

This afternoon, Emma and Parker had a great birthday party with a huge water slide and water games. Lyla and Cade were thrilled to get to ride down the slide - Lyla by herself and Cade with Daddy. 

They enjoyed birthday cake and ice cream together: 

And, Cade was so happy to wish his friend Parker a happy 4th birthday: “He’s my friend, Mommy."

Here’s to many more! We had a great time!

Life Today

The weather was beautiful today - hard to believe it’s July in Kentucky. It feels more like the later days of September, fall-like. It feels a little unnatural for this time of year - seems more like we should be avoiding sweltering temps, eating popsicles and running through sprinklers.

But, we’ll take the simple pleasures of a day like today. Lyla went to summer fun day this morning at her school, and Cade and I went on a few errands of our own while she was there. Immediately after our grocery trip, he was ready to pick her to show her the new cupcake sprinkles he conned me into buying. 

After lunch and a semblance of quiet time (we don’t do naps around here anymore…there isn’t much break in the action from 7:30ish a.m. until 9 p.m.), we tried a very successful new egg-free cupcake recipe for Cade as we will need a plethora of egg free cupcakes to keep up with our August birthday party schedule. 

We spent some time outside playing - Lyla thumbing through a doll magazine she received in the mail today and Cade playing with moon sand and intentionally knocking over any ant hill he could find, saying they’re “dirty”. This is when we took this picture - it was one of those moments when all is right with the world - the clouds beautiful overhead, skies all blue. I love these two so much I can’t stand it. 

This photo is actually from earlier in the day - I jokingly sent it to Lance at work saying that this scenario lasted approximately 2 minutes. It was a great photo opportunity, though:

Lastly, and remarkably, - our sweet girl is getting more and more like me every day. She was watching a television show tonight while Lance and I were deep in discussion after dinner. We have become so accustomed to being interrupted that I’ve started working with the kids on saying, “Excuse me” prior to railing in on all of our conversations. This time, she stood there - “Mommy, did you see my tears?” I looked down at her as she looked up - and she had tears in her eyes. The moment I realized it, she broke into sobs and ran to me, arms outstretched. She had been touched by something that had happened in the program she was watching, and I think she was more shocked by her emotional reaction than anyone: “Mommy, it was just so sweet when he hugged his little brother - it was just so sweet! It made me think of Cade."

I love this little girl - I know she’s ours, but I think she tremendously special in so many ways. Beyond her years and child like, all at the same time. 

Another day of summertime magic. 

Soccer Girl!

Our sweet girl is playing soccer! 

Her first game was a hot one, but she made it all the way through. We were so proud of her for being such a trooper…and to top it off, she made her first goal today! She kicked the ball all the way to the goal, just like Aunt NaeNah & Eli taught her!

Cade has learned to say, "Go Lyla!" as soon as he sees her with her soccer shirt. He was interested in the game…sort of...

He really liked playing with this little girl in the sand too: 

Lyla does not like the sun in her eyes (like Mommy), and insists on wearing her sunglasses most of the time: 

Of course, we were thrilled to see Nan & Nonnie come to the game…Lyla was so excited that they came to see her play: 

W

First Day of School!

So, today was Lyla's first day of preschool. 

She jumped right out of bed and was excited to return to Miss Polly's class, where she was joined by 4 other classmates, including her friend Reagan from last year. 

We're happy that her vocational choices are wide open - when I asked her to elaborate on her answer this morning, she said that she was excited to become a kindergartener. Still 2 (short) years away, sweet girl….

She reported it was a great day, but complained that there are 3 boys in her class. We think she'll be okay. 

Lance laughingly says that the biggest transition for all of us will be Cade - he cried as soon as she got out of the car and asked for her all morning. She is his everything right now, and he was so happy for her to return home. Lyla explained to him on the way home that he didn't need to worry - she won't be spending the night at school. 

These 2 are just the absolute lights of our lives. 

Music to My Ears

So, the primary purpose of this blog, to me, is to remember some of the magical moments of these beautiful children of ours. Here are a few gemstones of the last week or so - a few things I just don't want to forget: 

Lyla really is the center of Cade's universe these days. She's the first thing he thinks of in the morning and the last person he wants to be away from at night. He's repeating every little thing that comes out of her mouth - from a clear as a bell version of "raspberry" tonight at dinner to his own version of Knock-Knock jokes, he is copying every thing she does. He really does think she is magic, and it's the sweetest development of our summer. 

"Cade-isms"

Cade has a language all his own, beginning with "owl" his word for his sippy cup. His words are becoming more complex now, and we are often struck by the hilarity of his view of the world. The latest is "Ackle", which seems to refer to any source of water - the water hose, a watering can, water from the sink. We also love that "Out!" is his preposition of choice, primarily used when he wants to be picked up and held. 

Our first stirrings of Cade each morning consist of screaming for whomever put him to bed the night before. As soon as we enter the room, he demands a "Nack" (snack) and "Lyla". He also says "Uh-Oh" for any door that we've forgotten to close as he is typically barred from most areas of the house due to his tendency for destruction.

Cade's latest past-time is the "Cheese!" game - he loves to have his picture taken while he stands there and says, "Cheeeese!". Then, he wants to look at every picture of himself over and over again. Here, he insisted on using an accessory he found in the laundry room. Yes, I know someday he'll kill me for this one, but it's just so funny, I can't resist. 

Cheeesse!!

He is definitely ALL BOY - he loves to wrestle on the floor, and there is nothing funnier to him right now that his own burps and gas. We've also started laughing at his "disappearing lips", a sure sign he is getting ready to tackle someone or engage in some other naughty aggressive behavior. 

Miss Q. 

And, then, there's Miss Q., aka Lyla. She also, finds great humor in gas and burps and, she talks about poop so much that it's a bit unnerving (especially in public restrooms). 

Lyla is truly a Big Sister these days - often requiring gentle reminders that she needs to include Cade even when her friends are visiting. He is the center of her universe, however, when her friends aren't around - she's really enjoying having a playmate. She's always concerned for him - making sure that Mommy remembers to buy him a suitcase for vacation too - as soon as she's selected her own, of course. 

Lyla continues to love the mud and dirt, aspects of her personality I am relieved to see are still very much a core of her little being. I think it keeps her small, and I'm glad that princesses and pink haven't entirely taken over just yet. 

The other day as we were leaving swim lessons at the YMCA, she looked up at me and said, "Mommy, when I get big, I want to exercise just like you."

More Music. 

This girl never ceases to amaze me. Today at her last swim lesson, she volunteered answers to numerous questions from the teacher and has started to try and swim out on her own - all she needs is just a little more confidence. She ended her final lesson of this series by asking Miss Judy to come to the Beach with us next week.

Yes, on Sunday we are headed out for our first Family of 4 adventure to Panama City Beach. More pictures and stories to follow.

I can hardly wait.